I’m a male with long hair, I often tend to crossdress when I’m alone, I do get a mani-pedi session, I remove my body’s hair from time to time, I don’t like my beard, I tend to hang out with girls, for shopping and whatever girls do, and I enjoy it. Am I gay or transsexual?
One of my friend sent me this message via Facebook, that kept me thinking and thinking the past days. How do we define ourselves, through all those expressions, and terms, that I myself don’t understand it’s purpose, but what can I do about it? Human’s brain just loves labeling, judging and stereotyping. How do we define ourselves? On what bases do someone identifies as transgender? And the most important question, why me? 😛 so here are some answers I figured out.
Actually this question could be as old as human kind, even though you should know that it lies on some misconceptions. As I said before, human brain tends to label things, it’s something that we inherited from our ancestors like 150,000 – 50,000 years ago when they started talking, at that era invented language and they started naming things as well. Male and female were one of those labels they added to the language, back then somewhere, when the first gay kiss was invented as well, people related homosexuality to “feminine” or “muscular” traits, in other words, they related gender expression to sexual orientation.
Few decades ago, psychiatrics were still convinced with that theory; homosexual men are “feminine” men, who believe “in their subconscious” that they are females.”If we considered that homosexuality is due to feminine trait, why do we still find a typical stereotypical muscular man attracted to men?” Freud asked in one of his article. According to this question from Freud, all of the above was not an option anymore, that question triggered a whole new debate. Psychotherapists and psychiatrics found that (gender and sexuality) theories needed further studies.
So what they actually did is that they modified something called “Gender Model”, unlike the traditional gender model, which only include gender and sexual orientation.
Traditional Gender role box:
The new one included 4 terms: Sex, Gender role, Gender identity, and sexual orientation. What’s that “gender model” all about? In brief:
1. Sex is what we were born as “cis-male” “cis-female” and gentelia.
2. Gender role, are something related to society, what is the role of each sex in the society, which is most of the time controlled with stereotypes like blue for boys, red for girls..
3. Gender identity: “this is the part that would concerns you” is how we define ourselves with respect to others, how to do we see or express our gender, it could be a scale. Some cis-females for example would express their femininity to the maximum they would dream about being a princesses, others would simply ignore their look, or maybe cut their hair short dress buggy jeans “Tom-boys” which by the way don’t made them less female, unless they decided that they don’t belong to their gender-assigned on birth. As for “cis-male” it becomes more complicated to label things, but it’s more how do you feel when you look at your own reflection in the mirror, do u feel satisfied about the gender your look express? Tending to do “feminine” stuff won’t be necessarily a gender Dysphoria sign, it could simply be something that feel good when doing. In simple words, gender Dysphoria “gender identity disorder” is diagnosed based on three symptoms:
– The desire to live and be accepted as a member of the opposite sex, usually accompanied by the wish to make his or her body as congruent as possible with the preferred sex through surgery and hormone treatment.
-The transsexual identity has been present persistently for at least two year.
– The disorder is not a symptom of another mental disorder or a chromosomal abnormality.
So try to ask yourself those questions, I guess you’ll find a convenient answer.
Even though that I dis-agree the “gender identity disorder” term, and most of the psychologists don’t agree on the term, but it’s still used in the psychology references. Also some just prefer not to express any gender, so called “Queers” or gender queers.
4. Sexual orientation: is what gender you are attracted to, could be a trait or the whole package gender, for example you could love males with feminine traits, or you would like females with muscular traits, or that you simply prefer penis on vagina. It’s just a matter of preferences.
Hope that I helped you dear, and always remember whatever you do, just try to be yourself, after all life is not counted by breath we take, but moments that takes our breath. Enjoy J)