Dear Mimi, I think I’m transgender now what?
A friend of mine sent me a message last week, asking me a question: “am I transgender or gay?” I tried my best to explain the modern gender, the differences between gender expression and sexual orientation, and that how they are not related. Yesterday he sent me one new question now from him: “I think I’m a transgender now what?”
Dear X, I’m honored that my answer actually helped, and it will always be my pleasure to answer question that I have been searching for an answer since I realized my true self identity. Dear X I think the right question would be “I think that my body don’t reflect my true gender, now what?” transgenderism in most cases, would be just a phase that someone passes through to finally reflect the inner self out, could be through “SRS” (sex reassignment surgery) or any means of it. In this article I’ll try “ask and answer” a number of question that might have flashed in your mind “the typical questions”.
What does it mean to be a transgender?
Transgender people feel that the gender to which they were born, or assigned at birth, does not fit them. Transgender people include people born female who identify as male (female-to-male or FTM) and people born male who identify as female (male-to-female or MTF). Transgender people also include people who identify as “genderqueer”, gender neutral, and/or gender-free—people who may not identify as either male or female. Transsexual people are those who choose to medically transition to the gender that is right for them. Cross-dressers are people who like to wear the clothes of another gender but who don’t identify as another gender. You may find yourself identifying with one or more of these definitions pretty strongly or with none of them at all. No one has to rush to self-label, now or ever, and some people choose different labels that express more clearly how they see themselves.
How Do I know if I’m Transgender?
Actually, you might feel more comfortable expressing yourself in a gender other than the one you were born with or assigned at birth. This gender might be the “opposite” of the gender you were assigned at birth, or could be neither male nor female. In most cases transgender people would experience a total discomfort with one or more gender-specific parts. For example MTF would experience a discomfort with their penises, facial hair, and stereotypical do or don’t… FTM in most cases would experience discomfort towards their breast form, and stereotypical impose of feminty they should express. Or you might not feel discomfort with your gender-specific body parts and, at the same time, feel a deep need to have other body parts. You may feel more comfortable relating to people who perceive you as the gender you see yourself. You may simply feel you would be more truly yourself in another gender. People who are transgender may feel any or all of these emotions.
Am I normal?
Being transgender is as normal as being alive, people throughout history felt that they don’t belong to their gender, transgender people are everywhere. They are doctors, teachers, athletes, mathematicians, models, and TV hosts, you may interact with transgender people every day and not know it. They are latterly everywhere. Certainly, being transgender is not typical you might encounter people who don’t understand what you feel or experience. However you are normal like life.
Whom Should I Tell?
Well according to most references, there is no obligation to tell anyone about yourself identity. However I myself found that it is very important to tell someone, heshe could be a friend, anonymous on the internet, etc. Why? Because based on what I had been through, especially here in Lebanon or any controversial, conversional society it is really hard to keep on going alone with no one to support you. You are not going out as a transgender, but it’s more like a friends secret, that you should be certain that heshe will never tell anyone about it, and that you are sure that they are supportive, keep that in mind, but as I said there is no obligation to tell anyone.
What will happen when I come out?
Some people feel relieved and happy when they come out. Others feel as if they are thrown into a lion’s den, with challenges from parents, friends, and family. You will most likely experience a bit of both. Some transgender youth may face violence at school or in their home. Please, make sure you have people you can talk to before you come out publicly, just for this reason. As you come out, you may find “Helem“, “Marsa” or any other Lebanese LGBT community, a useful resource. To make coming out easier, surround yourself with as much information, knowledge, and support as possible.
To be continued…